


We're Not Broken People

by orphan_account



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Asexual Characters, Asexual Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 21:19:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4236978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Honestly just mindless asexual relationship fluff Applefall practically threw at me via tumblr (thank you though)</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Not Broken People

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Applefall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applefall/gifts).



> There's a common misconception that asexuals are "broken", so I took a Twenty One Pilots lyric and made it true for this case since we asexuals are not broken. 
> 
> (Written for Applefall because you made me really think about this and thank you very much) 
> 
> Ps. The way I introduced Bronx is so bad and made me scream for like ten minutes...you'll see why if you take everything as an innuendo and the Internet has ruined the word 'Daddy' for you like it has for me...

Patrick woke up with two thoughts present in his mind. One, it was way too early to be awake, and two, he was fucking cold.

He groaned and rolled over onto his back, and realized he didn't have a single blanket covering his body. And as it was June, they had the air conditioners on almost full blast, so naturally the house was freezing.

But there was his fiancé Pete, all perfectly warm and content, with every single blanket cocooned around him. Patrick crawled over to him and started tugging on the blankets, but they were all trapped under Pete's body. "Pete," he whined. "Pete come on it's cold!" Pete just mumbled something and rolled over so his back was to Patrick. "Pete you blanket whore give me some covers!"

"'M not a whore Trickydoll," Pete mumbled. "I've never had sex in my life. Sex is gross."

"Yeah okay that's great I get it you're asexual now give me some fucking blankets," Patrick growled. Pete mumbled something incoherent before lifting up one side of the blankets. Patrick sighed and crawled into the cocoon, huddling close to Pete's body as he draped the blankets back over the both of them. "Now you have to cuddle me for warmth," Pete smirked tiredly.

Patrick buried his face into Pete's shirt and mumbled something that sounded like " _Would've cuddle you anyway asshole_ ," before falling asleep against his fiancé.

~~**~~

"Trick we should buy a puppy," Pete screamed the next morning. Patrick blinked at him in response, before he continued. "I mean we save so much money by both of us being asexual and not having to buy lube and condoms and stuff, so we can buy a puppy."

"We don't save that much money," Patrick told him.

"Daddy let's buy a puppy! Please!" Their five year old, Bronx, shouted. The two of them had adopted him through surrogacy five years previous, with the help of their friend Ashlee.

"Uh hey Bronx," Pete said sheepishly. "How long have you been there?" Patrick shot Pete a death glare, because he swore to god if their five year old heard the words "lube" and "condom" and asked what they were, Pete was going to die. And Patrick would be going to jail for manslaughter.

"A few seconds, let's get a puppy!" Bronx screeched in his high-pitched toddler voice.

Patrick grinned down at him, "Alright kiddo tell you what, we'll get a puppy and we can go right now, how does that sound?"

Bronx started cheering and clapping, and Pete joined in, picking their son up and throwing him into the air slightly, before catching him again and setting him on the ground. Patrick laughed as Pete ran to grab his car keys, before reappearing in the room and grabbing both Bronx and Patrick's hands, leading them out of the house.

Two hours later they returned with an English bulldog puppy, and Patrick still couldn't believe he gave in that easily; again. Bronx was sitting on the floor, playing with the puppy (which Pete named Hemingway because he was a huge English nerd) and Patrick sighed. Pete shot him a look and took him out of the room into the hallway, out of Bronx's earshot but still keeping the toddler in sight. "What's wrong Tricky?"

"Are you sure we can look after a puppy? I'm just concerned...I can barely look after Bronx by myself, I'm a horrible father, Pete, I can't oh man I --" Patrick was hyperventilating by this point and Pete pulled him into a hug.

"You're an amazing father," Pete whispered into his ear. "You've taken such great care of Bronx, okay?" Patrick nodded and pulled back, kissing Pete once gently, before returning to the living room to play with Bronx and Hemingway.

Later after they had put Bronx to bed, with Hemingway curling up on his bed next to him, Pete's body was hovering over Patrick's on their bed, him supporting himself with his forearms. He leaned down to kiss him rather gently before pulling back and they both grinned at each other, Patrick's arms wrapping around Pete's waist. Pete moved their bodies so they're were both laying on their sides, facing each other. He brought his hands up to lightly trace Patrick's cheek bone, moving down to his jaw, over his shoulders, and down his side. He cupped near Patrick's ribs with his whole hand, and Patrick squirmed slightly. "I love you, and your body. You're beautiful," Pete whispered. Patrick smiled softly at him. Pete kissed down Patrick's (surprisingly) bare chest, tracing his fingers over the soft flesh of the other man's stomach, before kissing his way back up to Patrick's mouth. The latter laughed as Pete started tickling his sides gently. Pete continued tickling him, with quicker fingers, and Patrick's laughter increased in pitch. "Quiet or you'll wake Bronx," Pete teased, stopping for a brief second.

"Never thought we'd have to say that, huh?" Patrick giggled. Pete laughed at his comment, before going back to tickling him again, causing Patrick to squeak in surprise. "Petey, Petey please -- please no," he said between his laughs. Pete finally stopped a minute later and Patrick glared at him as he caught his breath. "I hate you."

"No, you love me," Pete smirked. "And don't worry, I love you too."

Patrick buried his face into Pete's shirt and sighed happily. "Wasn't worried about that, doofus," he mumbled before falling asleep.

The next morning, the two of them woke up to a dog barking and a child jumping on them. "Daddies, wake up!" Bronx shouted, wiggling between the two of them and shaking both their shoulders.

"Was'sup bud?" Pete mumbled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes as Patrick slowly blinked awake next to him.

"It's your birthday silly!" Bronx shouted at Pete, moving to sit in his lap and hug him. "Happy birthday to Daddy Petey!"

He shrieked, giggling as Pete tickled him briefly. "Thanks Munchkin," he beamed, putting Bronx between him and the now semi-awake Patrick who was sitting up next to him with his glasses on.

"I got you a present!" Bronx shouted, climbing over Pete and off the bed, running out of the door, followed by Hemingway.

Patrick grinned at his fiancé and kissed him quickly since he heard Bronx running back towards their room. "Happy birthday baby, love you," Patrick told him.

Pete kissed him again quickly, "Love you too."

Bronx came running back in and jumped onto the bed and Patrick pulled him to sit between them. "Here you go Daddy Petey!" He screamed, handing Pete a horribly wrapped package. Pete smiled at him and unwrapped it, revealing a small box. He lifted the lid off and unfolded the piece of paper inside it. There was a stick figure drawing of the three of them, with Patrick and Pete on either side of Bronx, holding his hands.

"Woah buddy this is great!" Pete told Bronx.

The child beamed, "Uncle Gee helped me! He said maybe one day I'll be a real artist like him!"

"Totally, just keep drawing and you'll be great in no time!" Patrick told him, ruffling his hair.

Pete's alarm cut them off by ringing obnoxiously on his bedside table next to them, signaling it was seven in the morning. "Alright kiddo you've still got school today so let's go get you dressed." Bronx pouted but crawled out of the bed after Pete. Three minutes later, Pete came back and got himself dressed. He walked over to Patrick and kissed his forehead. "Go to sleep, okay? You're exhausted I can tell." Patrick nodded and took of his glasses, laying down and closing his eyes. About ten minutes later, he heard the front door close, and leapt out of the bed, grabbing all of the blankets and any out of the trunk at the foot of their bed. He ran down to their living room and began making a surprise he had for Pete, knowing it would take him half an hour to drive to the school, drop off Bronx, go to Starbucks, and get home.

The surprise was done fifteen minutes later, and Patrick started making pancakes with chocolate syrup, Pete's favorite. The latter returned home and saw Patrick at the stove, singing to the radio while flipping pancakes. "' _CAUSE BABY NOW WE GOT BAD BLOOD!_ " Patrick sang at the top of his lungs, swaying his hips slightly. " _YOU KNOW IT USED TO BE MAD LOVE! SO TAKE A LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! 'CAUSE BABY NOW WE GOT BAD BLOOD!"_ Pete giggled and Patrick turned around, sticking his tongue out. "Pancakes are done, don't go in the living room there's a surprise for when we're done!" Patrick told him as Pete toed off his shoes. He grinned and wrapped his arms around his fiancé's waist from behind.

They ate their pancakes and played footsie under the table (until Patrick got frustrated and kicked Pete in the shin), before he unveiled the huge blanket fort he had made in the living room. Pete beamed at him, and dragged him into it, cuddling up to Patrick right away. "Love you," he mumbled, tiredness over taking him as it was only about eight in the morning.

"Love you too," Patrick replied, kissing the top of his head.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is gothicstump and it's pretty peterick trashy hahah (send help)


End file.
